The Psychopath

You know how people say that as you grow older, you get closer to your parents. Well, screw that phrase, its going the other way around for me.

As I get older, I develop more and more hate and resentment towards my mother, and as I wake up everyday, her face becomes more and more irritable to me. I have never felt a hate so intense for anyone in my life, up to the point that I would find pleasure in the person's death. I may sound sadisitic, but I wasn't born this way, I was made this way. The 20 years of constant rejection, scolding, slavery, verbal abuse, temper flairs, and arguments have contributed to this intense abhor which I have towards her. Many a time I have tried to justify her actions, but many a times my justifications just do not make sense. And don't give any bull about, "Don't say that, she's your mother".

Would a real mother say this sentence,

"If you go against me one more time, I will beat you up. Don't think I'm scared of you, I will do it. And I don't care even if you die, at least my heart will be satisfied."

Which cold creature on Earth would even say that. She's not my mother. She's evil. She's a demon. She needs to be vanquished. Banished from the surface of the Earth.

I used to have my doubts, but all my doubts have been clarified with that one sentence. No more mother's day presents, no more caring about her. I don't care if she cries, every teardrop is worth my years of suffering under this child abuse.

I'm a victim of child abuse. Many children are. I know how they feel. They feel helpless. Lost. Vulnerable. Up to this point, the scars in my life that affect me are not caused by anyone else but that demon.

I don't feel sad. I feel like I need to break free. I know the time is near, where I can just fly away and never come back. Something in my gut is telling me, there's a better future awaiting me. Suffer now, enjoy later. 20 years of suffering. 20 years of pain. I will get my day one day.

It may not be today, but I know it will come.

As for you bitch, here's a message just for you.

Burn in hell.