NS

So my life has changed completely. The old life I used to have is gone, now everything is about the army. The only thing I have to say is that, I feel like I'm in a dream. Nothing seems real, not even the friendships. I don't even know why the things around me happen. I'm in a motion, and I'm just going through it. I am going through a trance, and I somehow managed to numb out all emotions to the point that I don't feel sadness for all the sacrifices I had to make anymore.

I try to wake myself up, but it seems that I've fallen into a deep sleep, letting the situation take over me. Maybe I need this. Maybe my mind needs a break for a while, after going through so much stress and emotional trauma for so long. Maybe its time for me to accept this new mindless careless life. It could be the start of a new journey of inner peace. It could be the thing I needed, to let go of all the negativity I've been harbouring for so long.

But the question is, if it was so meaningful, why don't I feel complete. Why do I still feel that what I needed to settle is still there. I know its there, but I can't feel it. I can't feel the emotion. I just feel. Blank.

Like someone erased my emotions and replaced them.

I'm going through a weird phase.

Only time will tell what I'm going through. Till then.