Back to Square One

Just had a major argument with the usual parents about the same old thing, flashbacked to my angsty teenage years when I was treated like an animal, being enslaved at home and being disregarded of emotion and anything to do with humanity - hence I decided to revisit this old blog.

It dawned on me, its been close to 8 years since they've treated me this way, and from what I recall, it has never changed. I remember being so alone one fine night, just praying that one day, I would be free, and one day, they would feel the pain and sadness I was feeling which was inflicted by them.

The day has come. It is here. Their lives are falling apart. I can see and feel their longing for being wanted and loved by somebody, and being given nothing. They can live in denial for the rest of their lives, living in material happiness with designer handbags, luxury cars, which could only evoke more hate for them from peers because of envy. Should I do something about it? No. Because that was what they did to me, when I needed care the most. They only made sure I was alive.

I will make sure you live mom and dad. But noone said I was going to make sure you are happy. Alive on the outside, dead on the inside. Sounds familiar?

That was me, many years back. And that will be you guys, in the near future.

I will not let history repeat itself. I have built my life so far up, accomplished so many things which other people my age could only dream about and have later in life, and I'm not turning back and sliding back down. I will rise all the way up, like a phoenix from the ashes, and burn everyone along the way whom have caused me grief, pain, sadness, which I had harbored so much that it turned into self-hate, rage, and an inability to trust anyone or anything.

Your marriage is starting to fail. Your purpose of staying together is almost done, all your children are all independent, and you find that your time is more available than it ever was. It is this free time that will make you question, that will make you realize the emptiness that you have, and all this is not because of the usual "why do good things happen to bad people" fiasco. You have been bad.

You have scarred me for life. Till today, I've always looked for something which you would never ever give. I don't care.

I live for me. I don't live for you anymore.

The phase and emotional challenges you're going through now is not because of a bad occurence, its because of karma, coming back to bite you for stepping on all those helpless people when they were powerless and when you had power. Instead of helping, you abused them.

You made this monster. Now this monster is never going to rest, until payback is done.

And I know just how to do it.

:)