Delusion..

I guess some people are just plain delusional to the fact that they don't rule anything but their own fantasy world. Its plain retarded, and know it alls like these piss me off the most. One more week, and I won't have to play fake anymore, at least not toward this genre of people.

The only reason I tolerated them was so that I could use them. Once this is done, I wont need them anymore, so what better to do than to dispose of them like used unwanted rubbish.

:)

Miss

Maybe the one person I missed all this while was my old self.

Where did you go.

What happened to me.

NS

So my life has changed completely. The old life I used to have is gone, now everything is about the army. The only thing I have to say is that, I feel like I'm in a dream. Nothing seems real, not even the friendships. I don't even know why the things around me happen. I'm in a motion, and I'm just going through it. I am going through a trance, and I somehow managed to numb out all emotions to the point that I don't feel sadness for all the sacrifices I had to make anymore.

I try to wake myself up, but it seems that I've fallen into a deep sleep, letting the situation take over me. Maybe I need this. Maybe my mind needs a break for a while, after going through so much stress and emotional trauma for so long. Maybe its time for me to accept this new mindless careless life. It could be the start of a new journey of inner peace. It could be the thing I needed, to let go of all the negativity I've been harbouring for so long.

But the question is, if it was so meaningful, why don't I feel complete. Why do I still feel that what I needed to settle is still there. I know its there, but I can't feel it. I can't feel the emotion. I just feel. Blank.

Like someone erased my emotions and replaced them.

I'm going through a weird phase.

Only time will tell what I'm going through. Till then.