My mother and menopause..

My mother is becoming one of those cranky old cat ladies. Give her a few more months, and the transformation would be complete. She is very temperemental nowadays, and not to mention unbelievably selfish. Everything is suddenly about her, and the world revolves around her. I really am starting to really dislike her, and for a good few months of my life, I thought that maybe JUST maybe, she would be sane. But to my disappointment, she's the same old hag I've always been disappointed with my entire life, since I entered secondary school.

I've never been fully close with my mother. She has always kept it clear, that she's the reason I'm still alive, and she can let me die if she wants to. She can make my life bearable, or she can make my life a living hell. I feel as though I'm in a cult, where there are many restrictions and rules. It is scary, I know, but has my mother thought into the future? What if I'm all grown up, and she's old and frail? The tables would be completely turned. Karma has its ways.

As of now. To hell with getting close to my mother. I'm never going to tell her anything ever again. I will lie to get what I want if I have to. I will do anything to succeed. If my mom is the obstacle, I'll get around it. In this world, you will learn to be plastic. And with my mom, you have to be hard cold fake plastic. Its the only way to live. You know how you kiss up to your boss? Well, its time to kiss up to my mother. Because she's not a mother. She's a boss.

The price you pay, when your mother is a career woman, and your father is a hermit crab.

I know one day I'll find my freedom. One day I'll be happy. It might not be now, but it'll come someday.

The Flurry..

There are so many things to do. Yet again. Tests, ICAs, Hairstyling, Hair Extensions, Photoshoots, Editing. I've to get all these done and finished. I hope I don't die from this week.

Spendthrift is what I'm becoming. I'm turning into some kind of crazy shopaholic. Whenever I see a sale, I'll just grab something, even if I probably won't use it. This month alone, I've spent over $300 on myself alone. High maintenance much. But then, I got alot of things which I've wanted to get for the longest time. Like a bag for my hairstyling. Victoria's Secret merchandise. Shoes that are a hundred percent mine, and not used goods from my brother. Face products, which don't belong to my brother. Pants which fit me, and aren't too big or too small. Socks which match, and aren't two different colors.

I finally satisfied my wants. I slogged at work, but now I feel really happy, that I can get what I want, by myself, without asking my parents, or borrowing from my brother. And I pretty much am fully equipped for my hairstyling business. So now I'm content. But then, I look tired from all the slogging and studying. But its fine, eye creams and concealer pens do wonders. And what I bought now, I can keep forever. Whee.

Now, back to studying and slogging.