The Nerve..

I know where I stand
I know who I am
I will never run away
When life gets bad

I've got nerve.

The Distraction..

Exams are less than a week away! And I'm still not in panic mode. I can still think about photoshoots. Why is this? I remember last exam I was in such panic mode, I was hyperventilating almost every day. I guess now the stakes aren't as high. Last exam, there was streaming, so the pressure was extremely high to beat everyone so I could get into the specialisation I wanted. Now, if I do bad, nothing will happen to me. Yeah right.

If I do badly, I'm going to probably have to retake the modules again, and Year 2's don't have sub-papers so I cannot fail at all costs. If I fail, I'll be left behind while all my classmates graduate. And everyone's going to laugh at me and call me a dumb bimbo. I need to wake up. NOW.

I don't care if I look hideous with extremely dark eye rings and crappy hair during these 2 weeks. I have time to recover after the exams have ended. Now, its time to mug.

Ok now I'm scared. I just opened my EFMA book, and I looked at the questions and went blank. God help me.

The Facade..

Exam period is here. Wrong timing. I feel disoriented right now, the emotional traffic in my mind is driving me insane. I let the fortress down, and I got hurt. Really bad. Now, the fortress is back up, stronger than before, and noone is going to get in. Only I know my pain, noone else can feel it for me. Sometimes, being a bitch is the only way to prevent yourself from getting hurt. I'd rather feel nothing, than feel pain.

Trust yourself and don't give up, you know you're better than anyone else.

Time to do something for myself. The first step, is to kill those exams. I can do anything, and I can definitely get through this.

The Vision..

Too little too late.